As Lisa often notes, it’s so hard to plan a date for a guy (in this case, Scott)! Scott spends most of his life working (at his job or on side projects), taking her on dates, hitting the gym or running various errands. In today’s blog, we’ll show you how to plan a date for your husband!
We’re talking about planning a special/romantic date here (not just a walk down the road) so it needs to be something he’d love. But whilst there are things he enjoys, he gets to do them so infrequently that they’re not that apparent or might be a tad difficult to do with a busy schedule.
So how do you plan a date for a husband like this? We’ve developed a set of factors to help you plan the perfect date! Taking these factors into account will allow us to cater the type of date to what your husband will like best. The factors include your husband’s personality type, available time, his love language and of course, your budget.
Firstly, we consider time and this has two elements. Firstly the time of day, since some dates are better suited towards the evening and others during the day. Whilst we might have hundreds of date ideas come to mind, this filter is applied first since it rules out a great number of unfeasible options.
Secondly, we consider the date duration. If your husband has been extremely busy or tired, a weekend away on a 4WDing tour through the mountains might sound like a great idea, but he won’t be able to appreciate it because he’s half asleep!
In our relationship, we have two dates planned per week and these are on Tuesday nights and all day/night on Saturdays. These are set in stone and generally only moveable for reasons of high importance (for example, a very important issue at work).
When booking a Tuesday night date, we’ll typically go for something 1-2 hours long. This fits in well with work (meaning we’ll feel up for the date, regardless of how tiring work was that day) leaving Saturdays for longer dates or several smaller ones.
2. What is your husband’s personality type and what are his passions?
i. Personality type
Extroverted or introverted? Loud or quiet? Could you see him reading literature at a library or is a monster truck rally more his game?
The type of date you pick should match his personality. Think museums, quiet dinners & nature for the more introverted or loud football games and rock concerts for the more extroverted.
What is your husband passionate about? Has the car in the garage been polished until the light is afraid to touch its surface (if so, how about a car show?).
Or is there craft beer in the fridge? If so, perhaps booking a craft brewery tour will brighten up his weekend.
Scott isn’t known for being unhappy with a date idea if it involved something he likes!
iii. Does he lead an active lifestyle?
If your husband is up at 6am to go jogging (or like Scott, working out at midnight before bed)? Maybe booking a few games of paintball or going quad biking is the perfect date to get his heart pumping.
If your husband would much prefer to relax during his time off, a day at the shooting range or hitting up a go-kart track might make for some fun activities together.
3. What is your husband’s love language?
Love Languages are the way we can effectively communicate with our partner that we truly do love them. Often when a well-meaning couple is finding that their relationship is under stress, it’s because each side is speaking in a Love Language not suited to the other.
Love Languages provide us with the means to best express how we feel about our partner. We can thus use them in our date planning!
The Five Love Languages are gift-giving, physical touch, acts of service, words of affirmation and quality time and are discussed by Gary Chapman in his book ‘The Five Love Languages: How to Express Heartfelt Commitment to Your Mate’.
The below table provides examples of how each Love Language may be expressed (small note; this a summary, not an exhaustive list of all examples).
Your partner and yourself can find the quiz here (which we highly recommend, it worked for us!).
The below shows Scott’s results of the quiz. His main Love Languages are Physical Touch, Quality Time and Words of Affirmation.
In each the below table I’ve provided some examples of date ideas and the love language associated with each of them.
Now, Scott’s personality type is more introverted, he’s a nerd at heart and is very active. Given this and his love languages, going quad biking through mountains together would be a great option (even if he paid, since it would hit the ‘Quality Time’ button well). But he’d probably give me a quizzical look if I bought him footy tickets just for himself!
Don’t worry too much if some of the date ideas seem to satisfy several Love Languages. As long as you’re roughly right, it will still be an amazing date!
4. How much can you spend?
Generally, dates cost money and companies know how to charge when our heartstrings are ringing. However, some of the best memories were when we weren’t spending any money and were just being in the moment together.
If you’re currently on a tight budget there are still many date options available to you. For example, car shows are quite cheap (under $30 for two), as are arcade gaming nights (for nerds at heart), fishing (nature lovers), camping (another for nature lovers) and boxing classes (for the fitness fanatics) to name just a few.
Indeed, one of our favorite free date ideas involves heading out to a park overlooking Sydney city at sunset and just laying together on the grass and talking for hours (hitting both his ‘Quality Time’ and ‘Words of Affirmation’ buttons).
Putting it all together
We’ve discussed four factors that can help you plan the perfect date for your husband (as Lisa has many times for Scott). In one of our earlier blog posts, we provided an in-depth look at several date ideas for husbands and boyfriends (‘Our Top 10 Date Ideas for Him’ which you can find here).
We’ve summarized these date ideas in the table below however more detail can be found in the post (which also takes into account personality types and Love Languages).
We wish you the very best for your date!