Why are we talking about date number 6 and what’s so special about this one in particular? We’ve had several friends recently ask us (in not so many words) ‘What to expect on a 6th date?’ and so that’s what we’re answering today!
In short, on the 6th date, many couples consider becoming exclusive (i.e. “going out”) or formalize a relationship in a more meaningful way than simply “seeing each other”.
By this stage, we would assume that dates 1 through 5 would have gone great (or so comically bad that you can’t help but still see each other 😊). You two will have a great rapport, you’re both feeling those early ‘lurve’ emotions, the sex is incredible and you would have been seeing each other for about 1 to 3 months (assuming 1 to 2 dates per week/fortnight).
Given all this, it’s only natural to consider whether the relationship has long term potential.
In today’s blog, we’ll talk about:
- How to pop the question (how to ask and date ideas).
- What if they say no?
- What if you’re not sure yet?
How to ‘ask someone out’ for a committed relationship.
How to ask?
Asking your date to be your girlfriend/boyfriend doesn’t need to be stressful – indeed it’s better if it’s not. Our goal isn’t to pressure or guilt your crush into saying yes, more so we’re looking to see whether they feel the same way.
As such, let’s keep it simple. Here’s the words which we would use.
“I like you and I’m loving our time together. Want to be my [boyfriend/girlfriend]?”
That’s it! Not hard at all right? It’s better to focus on simplicity here since that allows you to relax, enjoy the date and be present in the moment.
Where to ask?
In our usual style, I’ve listed 10 places to ask your date out. You should know your date quite well by now, so if you’re looking for a date idea, you can select from the below based on their personality type, love language and how much you’d like to spend on the date.
(If you don’t know their love language, why not try the quiz? Love Languages represent the means of communicating love to our partner and also how we ourselves receive love. We can thus use them in our date planning!).
|Date Idea||When to Ask||Who’s it for?||Who’s it for (2)||Love Language||Approx. Budget|
|Movie date||Ask (quietly) towards the end of the movie||Introverts||Cinephiles||Gifts||$60|
|Painting Abstract Art together||Ask a while after you both start painting||Introverts||Artists!||Acts of Service||$30|
|Ask by the beach||Take some time to enjoy the view and then pop the question 🙂||Introverts||Beach lovers!||Quality Time||Free!|
|At the top of a hill, ask whilst hugging/looking at view||Take some time to enjoy the view and then pop the question 🙂||Introverts||Romantics||Physical Touch||Free!|
|Handwritten note (can do this in many places)||Anytime!||Introverts||Romantics||Words of Affirmation||Free!|
|Wine tasting||Ask after a few tastings (but never so much so that your date is inebriated!)||Extroverts||Wine connoisseurs||Gifts||$200|
|Cooking class||Pop the question during desert.||Extroverts||Foodies!||Acts of Service||$180|
|Gourmet picnic||Ask after you’ve both enjoyed your nibbles and are watching the view together.||Extroverts||Foodies!||Quality Time||$50|
|Dance classes||Ask after the dance class or if you’ve just nailed a cool move together!||Extroverts||Fitness Fanatics!||Physical Touch||$40|
|Karaoke (ask with a song!)||Let’s ditch the cheesy love songs 😉 . Ask when you’re breathless and having a break.||Extroverts||Singers!||Words of Affirmation||$100|
What if they say no?
If Leonardo DiCaprio can get rejected (by Cara Delevingne!), any of us can get rejected! Indeed, few people know that Lisa actually said ‘no’ to Scott the first time he asked for a committed relationship (a month after they first started seeing each other).
They kept seeing each other for a few more weeks and when he asked again, she said yes 😊!
The key is not to let it bother you – getting upset will ruin your chances of ever being in a relationship with that person. After all, there are multiple reasons as to why someone would say no and they don’t all mean a lack of interest from your date.
In Lisa’s case, she was seeing other people and wanted more time to be sure that Scott was ‘the one’.
In other cases, your date might not be ready for a committed relationship (or not even want one, which is a growing trend worth noting) but still enjoys your company and the growing romance between you. In this case, you need to personally decide whether the current arrangement is what you’re happy with.
If it is, great!
If it’s not, you should communicate that (calmly). Explain that you’re wanting something more but you respect their decision and think it’s better if you just go back to being friends. From here, you would need to move on and find someone more on your wavelength.
If your date says that they ‘only see you as a friend’, then leave it at that and part as friends. The chances of you changing this dynamic at this point are very slim as we’re dealing with emotions which are complex in nature. You will show yourself much more respect by moving and finding someone who reciprocates your feelings and is also looking for a relationship.
What if I’m not sure yet?
If it’s your sixth date and you’re not sure whether you want to pop the question, then quite simply you shouldn’t ask. Committing and then reneging on someone you’ve been dating is poor conduct and their feelings need to be considered.
Besides, many couples have waited longer before committing to a relationship and the ‘six dates rule’ is just a guide, it’s not gospel. Some couples begin going out as early as the first date (Scott was asked for a committed relationship on a first date many years ago!).
But if you wish to wait for the 7th, 10th or even 20th date – more power to you!
If you do need an extended period of time (for example, more time to develop trust), it may be worth discussing this with your crush at some point after the sixth date. If you’re the more assertive/dominant one in the relationship, your date may wonder if you’re hesitating or not interested in pursuing anything further.
To sum it up
You now know all we do about going on that special sixth date! It’s a rather simple process and remember that if they’ve agreed to go on five dates with you already – it’s highly likely that they really like you!
We wish you all the best for your date and hope you found our blog useful!
Were the above date ideas not your cup of tea? We recently wrote a blog about Date Ideas for Kissing which has many ideas for that special 6th date. All ideas have been ordered by budget, love language, personality type and duration so it’s easy to pick out the perfect date! – check it out here!